I hope this letter finds you doing well, and that you will accept my wish list with a full heart. I have been a good girl…well, except for that one time, and since I have been paying penance for quite a while already, I hope you don’t hold it against me. Here is what I would love to have for Christmas:
1) A tractor that will start in all kinds of weather, without having to put it on charge, or use a can of ether.
2) How To Train Your Cows – by Eustis S. Bovine
3) Automatic Coop Cleaner – (the deluxe model, please)
4) A bath tub for dogs – the one where they love to get in, has the automatic soap dispenser, rinse cycle and dryer.
5) A new barn – and if this isn’t possible, duct tape and baling twine so we can keep it together for a while longer
6) Self-cleaning house
7) Chickens that lay Silver Eggs (no golden egg-laying geese, please. They make too big a mess!)
8) A pigweed-free garden
9) A balanced weather cycle
10) For all my family, friends, and neighbors to have a wonderful, blessed and joyful Christmas!
Well, Santa – I know some of the things on my wish list may be more than your elves can do this close to Christmas. However, please use this wish list as a heads-up, and maybe Bernie, your mechanically and engineeringly-minded elf can figure out how to design/build/write these items. And if nothing else, #10 is really the only important thing on the list – so please deliver that one as soon as possible!
Your devoted and believing friend,
The Farm Wife