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This Farm Wife has seventeen cows.  There are thirty-some-odd chickens in the coop.  The barn is home to seven cats and four dogs live in the house.  As far as mouths to feed, add two humans and you know what the largest entry is in our budget.  So, why do you think I was a little cautious this afternoon when the Country Boy came in and asked me if I wanted two more pets?

He got The Look.  At first, I couldn’t tell if the smile on his face was, “Too late.  We already have them,” or “Nah, I’m just joking.”  It was when he said, “Steve had one and said it the best pet you could have.  Of course, you need to have it de-stunk first.”  …..What??????

James is here for a visit, and his buddy Greg came down to see him.  Earlier today, the two took it upon themselves to mow a section across from the barn and begin getting rid of the burn pile.  During the shifting and moving, they scared up a couple of baby skunks.  Cute as a button, too small to have developed their scent gland, I can almost understand why the Country Boy might want them.  I, however, have these horrible visions of walking outside in the morning and having the farm look like somebody had a feather pillow fight in the dark of the night.

It may sound like fun to have a wild animal as a pet, but let me assure you – you may be able to tame them enough to live in the house with you, but their natural born instincts will never go away.  Even your common house cat will revert to type and eat your chickens.  Dogs will, too.  For that matter, everything likes chicken.  Accept for cows.  Cows like grass.  Oh, and Range Cubes.   I happen to like my chickens, so I have no desire to put them through the stress of having two skunks living in close proximity.  And I am sure my chickens thank me for it.

Now for my next question.  These two babies are probably small enough to fit in the palm of my hand, the tails notwithstanding.  They are bundled up together inside a tire, which we use to keep the cows off the fence.  If they are there, where is their mother?  For the most part, I do believe with all the commotion that has been going on out there, the boys are probably safe for now.  There have been lawnmowers roaring, a fire burning, smoke drifting and people stomping all around.  But if the Country Boy or someone else tried to reach in and pick one of these babies up, Mama just might decide to ‘damn the torpedoes, I’m going in!’  And when that happens, I don’t think I have enough soap, hot water and tomato juice to allow them to sleep inside tonight.  Or for the next week, for that matter.

Well, I think it is safe to say that the Farm Wife has seventeen cows, thirty-some-odd chickens, seven cats, four dogs and two humans living on Paradise.  I am more than happy to throw in a few two-legged visitors, and even an in-law or two.  But for today, I can honestly say that Pepe Le Pew will not be a new resident.  Now, if Porky decides to show up, I still have a pigpen, and I know how to use it.

Anybody want a couple of pets?  I can make you a great deal on them!